Mr Gold the Player
by DarthRushy
Summary: Henry forces Gold to play video games with him. Taking this as a new challenge, he enters the world of video gaming. But can even the Dark One defeat the killer monkeys?
1. Chapter 1

"You want me to come to the apartment, pretend that I'm a cub and run around jumping on animals?"  
Gold's voice sounded disbelieving. Emma was not surprised.  
"Henry just wants you along for some... grandfather-grandson time. So you either show up or the next time Belle kisses you, it's gonna suck your powers. Dry."  
"Deal! On one condition, ms. Swan. I want that red jacket of yours."  
_Wait, he wants what?!_  
"I know this is much to ask, but I'd rather not think about the state of my Enchanted Forest wardrobe right now and I have to wear something when I return."  
Emma grumbled: "Fine."

* * *

Like clockwork, Gold limped into the apartment and was directed to the hyperactive kid behind the computer who couldn't wait to play.  
"So tell me about this game of yours, Henry?"  
"Well, your name is Simba and you're a lion kid and you have to go jump on animals and fight your Uncle Scar, he's the bad guy and you need to grow up and reclaim your kingdom."  
Henry pointed to the computer.  
_I might have to ask a little more from Emma for this..._

* * *

Gold grumbled. This was the third time that a hedgehog, a _hedgehog_ had killed him! If he hadn't had respect for Henry, he would've magically just remade the game to suit him.  
As Simba, he jumped up the nonsensical cliffs, ate poisonous-looking insects and somehow caused every animal he jumped on to turn into dust.  
_And to think I could be spending this time limping around Storybrooke menacingly... telling Regina how to solve yet another one of her needlessly complicated plans with ridiculously predictable outcomes..._  
"Grandpa, watch out!" yelled Henry.  
Gold's eyes flashed back to the screen where he died. By a hyena who bit him.  
"Henry, I really, really think this game is not for me."  
Henry wouldn't let him go that easily.  
"No, you were getting really good, c'mon!"

* * *

And thus, he found himself spending the next hour on the game. Taking it as a new challenge where magic is limited, Rumplestiltskin jumped on the heads of giraffes, clung to the noses of hippos and let himself be tossed around by monkeys.  
That is, until he fell into a random pool and died. Somehow.  
"Game, if I do not win right now, something will end up buried in Snow White's coffin!"  
Furiously punching the controls, Gold figured out the right combination of monkey tosses and finished the level.  
Only to be faced by an ugly warthog and falling insects.  
He did his best, but only managed to collect 40 or so.  
And now Rumple was on a huge pile of bones jumping on hyena heads.

* * *

"Hey, you guys still playing?" asked Emma, returning from a long day at work.  
"Yeah! Grandpa is really good!" exclaimed Henry.  
Emma raised her eyebrows. "If I do not survive, could someone please tell Victor to restoree Walter Disney to life and bury him alive for me?! I am telling you, one more spider and I will break this thing!" Gold was nearly crying.  
"Uh..." Emma decided to leave.  
Next morning, Gold returned to the apartment(at Henry's request) and was quickly found by Snow to be angrily yelling at "Slow-mo logs with Charming brains!"  
"Um, Gold? It's just a game."  
"Video game or not, dearie, NO ONE makes the Dark One jump and fall on these... these... LOGS without a very, very, very, very big price."

* * *

He made through the waterfall, finally. And now he was faced with a giant ape tossing seeds at him.


	2. Chapter 2

Mr. Gold punched the buttons. "I don't believe it! How on earth can a spider kill a giant lion like myself?!"  
"It's just a game." said Henry sympathetically. "It's a story, so no, it is actually taking place in another world." retorted Gold.  
"Right."  
In the matter of another hour or so, Gold was finally facing his archenemy... SCAR!  
"I think I recognize a desperate soul." muttered Gold to the other lion and started slashing the hell out of him.  
Unfortunately, Scar was an adversary not to be taken lightly and Gold learned it the harsh way. In a matter of minutes, he was out of lives...!  
**GAME OVER.**

* * *

_And the day was so clear that Gold's screams could be heard from land to land._


End file.
